Hey Meg, What are you up to? Not much. Just finished an angel food cake might go out to the trash, See if there’s any possums to kiss I was just out there Come on it’s just senior year, somebody must be having a party or something There’s one, but I wasn’t invited So what? Go crash it! Nah, not my style. And what do you care? Do you want the tv or something? What? No, no. I wanna see you have fun! Come on. You should go. You know, let loose a little. You know what? You’re right. Maybe I will give it a shot Yeah, how awkward can it be? It can’t be worse than waving at someone who doesn’t wave back at ya. No, not you! Oh, sorry In fact, everyone but you. Hi everyone but him! Hi! (techno music plays) All right ladies. Time. To. Mingle. Hey, you guys talking Big Bang over here? Big Bang Theory? No? Any bangers over here? No? Well, I’ve tried everything. We just don’t have anything in common with these guys. Maybe we don’t need anything in common with them. Meg come on don’t go crazy. Damn that’s hot! That was just lucky. Oh, yeah? Wow. Megs so good at casually tossing bottles over her shoulders so they land upright! And that’s very popular right now because we’ve run out of things on earth Meg that was amazing! What can I say? I’m full of surprises! Like the end of The Usual Suspects *Gasp* He was gay the whole time! Kids! Dinner’s ready! Dinner’s ready. Shut up. A little of the old schnapps sure oughta get me right. Aay, Chrissay! Well that’s delightfully informal, Meg. How the heck are ya? So what are you kids doing in school? I got in trouble for saying something insensitive to trans kids. What’d you say? Well a few of them started this a cappella group, and they’re all kind of chubby So I said you guys you call yourselves the trans fats! *Laughs* Meg you’ll sit next to me this evening. But Dad! I’m sorry Chris. You’ve fallen out of favor. Perhaps forever Hey! What’s up in this piece? You’re getting home late. Yeah, we were hanging out in the woods and *Laughs This one girl pushed another girl over while she was peeing! They fought and then the cops came. Meg, this is important. Did she fall in the pee? I can smell your breath. You’ve been drinking haven’t you? Noooooo. Jeez mom get off my back! Peter, I think she’s doing booze! what should we do? Lois, she’s just being a teenager. We don’t know if she’s like, for sure definitely been drinkin’. I found this in her room. My little girl’s a drunk! Oh My God! Where did we go wrong?! *cries* Meg, we need to talk. What mom? Look I know what you’re gonna say, and I know how you’re gonna say it. Oh really? Yep. I don’t want you drinking or your life’s gonna go down the crappa. *chuckles* That’s not bad. I mean I sound nothing like that, but it’s a fun character. But this is serious. Alcoholism runs in our family! Hey. I’m just glad something runs in this family *Laughs* I don’t mean to laugh, okay, but that was funny. Mom, I’m just having fun. I’m finally known as something other than the chubby girl who put the lunch lady in a headlock and Besides dad’s the one who pushed me to go to that party. Oh he did, did he. Ah! Son of a bitch. What was that? I don’t know. Someone must have messed something up. Listen you need to talk to Meg about her drinking. What? Why me? Because you’re the one who told her to start going to these parties. *Sighs* Okay, fine. I guess it’s just something I got to deal with. like the flush of a high-powered toilet.