– You see Zayn Darkshadow’s dead body. There are instructions for a ritual that involves certain stages of the moon. You also find Johnny Spells’ soul contract with Gorthalax the Insatiable. – Durinson Mithryl Factory. – Motorcycle backs up, and fucking blasts through
the chain link fence. – [Zac] Oh, no. – Oh, good show, motorcycle! – I am a girl! My name is Torek Railgrinder! – Cool! – The exterior half pipe begins to open. (gasps) (mimics booming) And an
enormous pavement golem stands up with the half pipe on top of it. Crush! Crush! Crush! Crush! (owlbear screeches and roars)
(marching band drumming) Hello, and welcome back to Fantasy High! Last week, we left our intrepid heroes, say, hello, intrepid heroes. – Hello, intrepid heroes.
– Hi, oh, no. – God dammit! – It’s a runnin’ joke! – Last we left off, our brave adventurers were at
the Durinson Mithril Factory. Now we see they’re facing off against, what just happened over there? – She just erased my
name on my character– – Brutal!
(laughing) Uh, the dwarves, led by Torek Railgrinder, who is the clear leader
of the skater group, she is aloft on the half pipe, chanting the name, “Crush, Crush, Crush!” As the pavement golem with the half pipe strapped to its back stands (mimics growling)
to its full height, steadies itself, and begins the combat
by marching towards you. First to act is, actually, before the pavement golem goes– – Oh, thank God. (Ally chuckles) – [Brennan] Uh, first
act in the round is Riz, hiding behind these pallets. – [Brian] All right. Uh, leader is up on the half pipe. – Correct.
– Cool. – I am going to try to, how long would it take
me, could I get over, oh, can I shoot her from here? – Yes. Where are you? – Right behind these pallets.
– Right there? – What’s the range on that? – Uh, it should be, it’s short bow, so it should be like 80
feet or something like that? Or 120 feet? – There’s an easy way to find this out. – [Brian] Yeah, let’s just
see if it’s within range. – [Brennan] Just within range. – Cool. I am going to take a shot at her. – Awesome, go for it.
– Cool. – And I believe you have surprise, because they’ve not acted–
– Because I go first. – You go first, right, first initiative. – Let’s see. (die clacks) That’s only a 14. – 14’s gonna be a miss, unfortunately. Ping! (mimics whizzing arrow) – Sturdy folk. – Sturdy folk, these dwarves. Clang off of Torek’s ax. – And elvish is our code language, right? – [Emily] Yeah. – I yell in Elvish, “I think she’s controlling
the golem, maybe. “Who knows. “We’ll find out.” – Huh.
– What he say? (chuckling) – He said he thinks, I don’t think so. Guys, go for the gold, remember? We’re not here for blood,
we’re here for gold. – We’re here for gold.
– Oh, good call. – For friendship! – Hey you guys, I saw those owls, and I feel like this isn’t
really what we’re here for. (stone scraping) – You see the golem doesn’t move very quickly. (mimics booming footsteps) With each step, it kind of wobbles with this huge half pipe on its back, and it takes extra time to step carefully across this bubbling green liquid going through the center
of the battlefield, and raises one fist aloft
as it walks towards you. That’s going to be Kristen’s turn. – Okay, just remember the last time, I saw that owls have been
following us this whole day, so I think we might be getting distracted. But just in case, I am going to– (inhales) Run. Um, towards Riz. Just join Riz, I guess. Maybe try to get some cover or something. Uh, cool. Is that too far? – [Brennan] I don’t
know if that’s too far. Is that the only thing
you’re doing that round? – No, I’m also going to use
this round to bless you three. – Us three? – Yeah, and then I’ll use
the next one to bless us. – Four, five, six. You can get to here behind this pallet. You have partial cover in
case any ranged attacks come through from here.
– Cool, awesome. – [Brennan] Uh, and
you cast Bless as well? – Yeah, on these three. – Cool. Um, rad. That is going to be Gorgug. – Okay, can I cast, uh, can I try an insight
check on this vulture? – [Brennan] Sure, on the vulture? Yeah, for sure.
– On the vulture? – That’s such a good move.
– Yeah, great call. – You get to do a free
insight check on the vulture. – Ooh!
– Okay, I got a 17. – You look at the vulture, the vulture seems strangely
unperturbed by the battle. This vulture seems mostly interested in what happens after the battle. It seems sinister insofar as
all vultures seem sinister, but looking into it for a macabre purpose, or if if it is the secret
mastermind of this, it’s probably just a bird
that wants to eat your body. – Gorgug attacks the vulture. (laughing) – Rushes past the golem, golem gets an opportunity attack. Gorgug is dead forever. – He cares not. – Um, I am, uh, Gorgug (chuckles) takes the wrong meaning from this vulture and goes into a rage. (laughing) And then Gorgug is gonna move, like, over past this towards
this guy right here. – Towards this dwarf.
– Yeah, to try to– – Cool.
– Get as close as I can. – Uh, great. With a dash action, or is
this with your movement? – [Zac] With a dash, can I also attack, or no, that’s the whole turn?
– No. – Um, I’m gonna get as close as I can get and then throw an ax. – [Brennan] You can get
to here and hurl ax. – Okay, I’m gonna do that. And that is– (die clacks) Uh, 19? – 19? Oh, that dwarf right there, hits! – Great. All right. And now it’s plus six
’cause I’m in a rage, right? Instead of plus four? – Uh, yes, plus six damage, absolutely. – Ooh. Um, I hit it for 12. – Jesus!
– Oh! – You rush immediately in rage, just confused by that vulture! (Emily laughs) And you grab your hand ax, and wah! And you see this dwarf
going, “Crush, Crush, Crush!” Waggh! Into his soldier, bam! This fuckin’ hand ax thuds in there. Aghh! Looks up at you and says, “Aye, ’tis a fearsome half-orc “treading in the halls of our fathers!” – Oh my God– – [Zac] Your fathers would
hate what you’re doing. (Ally chuckling) – Wha? You just scour at this dwarf. “My da’ would not hate what I’m doing. “It’s just we like skatin’!” – Did he like skating? – “Father!”
(laughing) It is now Adaine’s turn. – Um, I– – Am gonna run this way? (chuckling) – Straight off the cliff. – [Lou] Where are the adults? – I go swimming in the green goo. (laughs) – Um, I am going to run towards where Kristen is, and then I’m also going to cast Fire Bolt onto the skate
ramp that the skaters are on. – Oh, nice. – Whoa!
– Yeah, betch! – Is it wood? – Yes. Right? It’s wood, right? – It is wood, that’s absolutely correct. Go ahead and make an
attack roll for Fire Bolt. – [Ally] And you have Bless. – Oh, and I have Bless. – Oh, I didn’t even use mine. (chuckles) – Oh!
– Didn’t need it, baby. – Didn’t need it.
(die clacks) Hell, yeah. – Plus six. Eight, 12, plus six, 18. – Uh, 18 is a hit for
the half pipe, certainly. Where are you hitting the, just on the corner of it here? – [Siobhan] No, underneath
the skater that’s there. – Adaine races after Kristen. Kristen, you hit everyone
with the light of Bless. You raise your hand, woosh! A bolt of fire rushes
from your finger tips, hits that corner, and the
half pipe catches aflame. (fire crackles)
– Good job. (wink dings)
– [Siobhan] Thank you. – Whoa, did you just give
her Bardic Inspiration? – No, no, I was just, uh– – That’s the second
time she’s winked at me. – Oh, ’cause that one was the bless one. – [Siobhan] Oh, right. – Make an arcana check. – [Siobhan] Ooh. – With the four, is it? – Oh yeah, with the–
– Add the four in there. – [Ally] Hell yeah.
(die clacks) – Uh, 11, 17. – Um, the fire takes to
this place very quickly. Like, you’re even surprised at how quick that fire catches on that
corner of that thing. You notice all the
dwarves look to the fire (gasps) with almost a look of, like, worry that it’s something
other than what it is, and they see that it’s from your spell, and calm down a little bit. It is now going to be Fabian’s turn. – Uh, okay. I, (chuckles) my motorcycle has it’s own turn? – We’re gonna say for the ease of things that the motorcycle
acts on your initiative. – All right, great, fantastic. Can I, I’d like to ready an action. – [Brennan] Yes. – I’m going to ready an attack, and I shout to my companions, “You worry about the dwarves! “I’ll take care of the golem.” – Oh!
– Ahh! – And (laughs) I, um, can I check in with my
motorbike real quick? – Master. – All right, motorbike, the terrain here does not seem well. How are you on this kind of precipice? – I will be fine. – All right, fantastic. Uh, through the golem’s legs, then. – Through the legs! (laughing) – So sick. – Rad, um, your motorcycle, are you– – My plan is to, my attack is to spear straight up as I pass through– – Into what would be the nards of this golem.
– Of this golem, yes. – Uh, great. – Golem nards, dude.
– His rocks. (Ally chuckles)
– [Emily] Rock’s rocks. – Rad. You guys see, (chuckles) fuckin’– – [Emily] Just a dandy man
and his infernal steed. – Uh, you zoom through the
fuckin’ legs of this thing. Go ahead and make your attack roll. – Fantastic. (dice clack) Uh, 12 plus seven. 19. – 19? You skewer to right to where
the fuckin’ business would be, and as you’re going through, the sword connects right
where it should hurt the most, and scrapes pavement and stone, what you would expect stabbing a bunch of pavement and stone. Uh, seems impervious to
whatever kind of damage your rapier is doing. It takes a swing at your motorcycle as it passes through.
(gasps) – Baby.
(die clacks) – Ooh.
– Daddy. – God. (chuckles) – We gotta knock this thing– – Definitely about to be
thrown from my motorcycle. – Would it count as that? – Well, I got to do
that cool thing, though, which was fun.
– It was very cool. – [Lou] Uh-huh. – There’s a lot of tiny dice over there. (chuckling) – Yeah, I’m gonna need you to make a dexterity saving throw. – [Emily] Bless yourself. – With Bless? – [Brennan] With Bless.
– Great. – Uh, nat 20.
– Oh, ho, ho! – Uh, nat 20. You go through this thing’s legs, it wobbles, wuh! But its arms are so long
that it swings around, wuh! Bam! Catches your bike
as you’re going through. So (mimics zooming) catches
you behind the back. You flip through the
air, your bike scatters, not destroyed–
– All right. – But badly damaged. Bike skids over here, and I’m gonna say pick a place anywhere within 30 feet
of behind the golem that you want to have flipped to. – Uh, we’ll flip, (chuckles) where will we have flipped to? – [Brennan] You can also
go vertical if you want?. – Uh, like onto it? Could I, okay, could I flip onto the top of the thing next to the vulture? – No! Mm. – [Brennan] Right here? – [Emily] Oh, next to the vulture. Yeah, hell, yeah.
– Yes. – Let’s go right there. (laughs) Uh, this seems foolish. (chuckles) – [Brennan] Yep, there you go. – [Emily] Ah! You look dope. – You guys see Fabian (mimics booming), flame tearing out of the
Hangman, goes boo, cling! (roars) This thing wobbles on its legs, and boom! Hits the fuckin’ bike.
(mimics squealing tires) The Hangman, “Master, I have failed thee!” And you, (mimics flipping) bam! (chuckles) – Bike, you failed no one! (laughing) – And you flip and land on the copper silo standing, wah, poised perfectly. – Do I at least seem to
have gotten its attention? – Um, oh, well, you’re not
reading its face right now. It’s also moving very slowly.
– Okay, fantastic. – Um, that’s going be the dwarves. (Lou snickering) You guys see these dwarves take off. This dwarf that Gorgug just
attacked rushes forward, grinds along this rail–
– Of course he did. (Brennan chuckles) – And is going to, uh, the dwarf grinds along
the rail, makes an attack, misses! So (mimics scraping) grinds, gives you all the time in the
world to tell what he’s doing, leaps up to hit you with the board, and you dodge out of the
way, lands behind you. Um, these other dwarves, this guy pops up into the half pipe, skates all the way up, back down, flips, lands over here. – [Lou] Oh, great. (chuckles) – Through the flames. – [Siobhan] Sick. – Fires a crossbow at Gorgug, hitting Gorgug for four points of damage. – Halved? – [Brennan] Halved, two. – I’m at 55. (laughs) – Oh, I don’t know, be careful, buddy. – I’m only two points ahead
of my normal hit points. – [Brennan] This guy (mimics
scraping) grinds along here, goes for Riz. – Shoulda hid. (die clacks) – Misses terribly. – Yeah. – This dwarf, (mimics zooming) here, lands over here, and hurdles at Fabian. Hits Fabian for five points of damage. (whooshing and clashing) Throwing an ax. And that is going to be the dwarves turn. It is now Fig. – Okay, um, I would like to do an insight roll to see if I think that I could charm the golem. – [Brennan] Go ahead and
make an insight check. (snickering) – A four. – Four? This thing definitely is into you. (laughing) It’s all, this thing
fuckin’ has to dig on you. – All right, man, we’re goin’ for it. All right, I start tuning my bass guitar, and I would like to,
with a seductive song, cast Suggestion on the stone golem. (groaning)
(stone scraping) – What do you suggest? – Throw the dwarfs off the cliff. (groaning)
(stone scraping) – Um, it, uh, you see no recognition of
anything in this thing’s face. (chuckles) That’s going to, as you’re looking at it for some kind of recognition
of the spell or what worked, you hear from the top of the half pipe, “Dwarves! “Those of us who have come here “to shred in the halls of our fathers, “be thy blessed by Ollie, “god of rad shredding!” (Ally chuckles) – These people are the worst. – Um, you see (mimics
angelic hosts singing) a silvery, steely light
covers all of the dwarves and the golems as well. – What?
– Ugh. – [Emily] Motherfucker! – Are you moving as well, or did you– – Oh, I would also, I also wanted to use my bonus action to wink at someone for
some Bardic Inspiration. Who’s, what can I see? Hey, Kristen. Kristen, hey. (dings) – (chuckles) Uh, cool, uh, cool. (laughing) – [Brennan] Uh, Torek– – Ahh! (chuckles) I feel wild. – Are you gonna stay where you’re– – And then I’m gonna hide
behind this skinny tree. – You can hide behind me! – [Zac] Great, great. – Uh, (chuckles) Torek, um, Torek finishes her turn by dipping into the half
pipe, (mimics zooming) leaping, and landing all the
way up on this ledge here. – Oh my God, so sick. – Clearly the best skater of the group. – [Ally] Damn. – [Brennan] That’s going to be Riz. – Cool. Okay, well, I got this
guy right in front of me. Uh, I will, you know what? I’ll just go ahead and
do my Insightful Fighting on this dwarf right here. – [Brennan] Okay. (die clacks) – Uh, that’s only, that’s an 11 from me. Or no, insight, that’s even worse. That’s a nine. And he does deception.
– Okay. (die clacks) – Uh, you do not gain any
insight at this point. The beard covers the face, you can’t get a read on him. – Cool, then I am, I’ll just try to stab him with my rapier. (die clacks) That’s only a freaking 11. – Not going to cut it. – [Brian] Cool, good. – [Lou] (chuckles) Good. (stone scraping)
(footsteps booming) All right, that didn’t work. – [Brennan] Um, this thing
kicks these pallets to the side, stands here. – [Lou] Hello. (Brennan chuckles) – And he starts throwing
dwarves off the cliff. It worked! – Yay! – Yay! (chuckles) – Does a 13 hit Gorgug? – 14 is my armor class, baby. (roaring) – Humiliating that a huge golem couldn’t hit a little dude. – Golem takes a swing, and a fuckin’ miss. That is now going to be Kristen’s turn. – Uh, okay, great. I am going to, um, kind of like run and
jump over the pallets. I know that’s probably an athletics check. – Actually, no, ’cause there’s
a little bit of space there. We can just call it difficult terrain, and you can halve your
movement to three squares. – Sweet. Uh, what would that be? – So really, you can
only move about that far if you’re going over the pallets. – Okay, um, is there a way
for me to run around this way? Even though this isn’t like, I just wanna get on the
other side of this guy. – [Brennan] Oh, that guy? Yeah,
for sure, you can do that. – I’ll do that, and then I will bless the remaining three of us. – Sweet.
– Ooh, thank you! – Including myself and, uh, this isn’t like a move or anything, but those fuckin’ owls freaked me out. I’m just gonna start praying and maybe working up
to a prayer of healing since that takes 10 minutes. – Probably the battle will be concluded well before 10 minutes are over. But you can make an
insight check if you want. – Yeah, yeah, what the fuck
was up with those owls? (die clacking) 19 plus seven, so 26. – 26. What you believe is this. (intriguing, mysterious music) You put something together in your head. You were the one who noticed when you were at Zayn’s earlier today that the cage that he
kept his rat familiar in had been opened, even
in the thick of combat. You realize even the short couple times that you’ve seen Zayn, just when he was being a bully to you, that he loved that fucking rat, and it was probably the last thing he did while he was alive and being killed, to open that cage so
his rat could get away. And suddenly, you realize that
a town full of cats and owls is perfectly designed to hunt down a rat. In other words, you don’t think that this environ is producing whatever those owls and those cats are up to. You think those owls and cats
are something more sinister. In other words, something’s going on here that’s part of a clue that
you guys have come to find. Those owls and cats are, rather than being the clue, or something to do with the clue, are maybe something to stop
you from finding more clues. If that makes sense. – Cool. And that rat might be out there somewhere? – Might be out there somewhere. – All right, I’m definitely
looking at the ground. I yell to everyone, “Look on the ground! “Remember that rat?”
(Brennan chuckles) – What, the sexy one? (laughing) Don’t bring that up! – Do you remember that rat?
– I’ll bring it, don’t worry. – I’ll conjure another one up.
– Do you? – [Brennan] Gorgug, that’s your turn. – Ahh! I’m gonna hit the guy
who, uh, grinded past me. – Yeah, go for it, dude.
– Ground. – [Brennan] You already
smashed him with a hand ax. – Yes. All right.
– You’re blessed. – Blessed, baby. – Hell yeah. Yeah, we’re blessed, too. – That is only, uh, 12. – 12’s not gonna do it. (whooshes) You take a swing, gone, but are you frenzying, so you
can take your bonus action. – Oh, yes, I’ll take my bonus action. (die clacks) – Uh, nat one. – Wow.
– And a one again. – (whooshes) You whiff
two times. (whooshing) Your ax clatters to
the ground at your feet as you are disarmed by this dwarf. But you have a movement action if you want to pick up your ax. – I’ll pick up my ax,
and I can’t move anymore? – You can move three squares. – Okay, I’ll take three squares forward across where that beam is
towards the metal side. – This direction?
– Yes, yes, yes. – All right.
– Yes, yes, yes. – [Emily] Yes, yes, yes. – [Brennan] One, two, three. Okay, cool. – Gorgug! – Fuck. – [Brennan] That is going to be Adaine. – Am I 60 feet away
from rude girl up here, or can I get 60 feet away? – You are more than 60 feet
away, you’re gonna have to– – But if I take a movement,
and then cast a spell– – Hard to eyeball. You can take a movement and
see if you’re within range. – I’ll try. – [Ally] Hell yeah. Running to those boxes. – [Brennan] Do you want
to move to the side here or do you wanna try to
go through the pallets? – I’ll try and go through the pallets. My athletics is very bad, but– – I’m a little worried
we’re all gonna get crushed next turn.
– Yeah. – [Brennan] Uh, cool. – I just wanna get as
close to her as possible. – Yeah, you can make an acrobatics check. If you get a 15, I’ll let you take your full
movement through the pallets. – Okay, great. (dice clack) Nat 20. – Hell yeah.
– Jesus Christ! – Woo!
– Okay. – You see Adaine, spry of foot, fuckin’ Legolases her
way across the pallets. Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. All the way to the base
of this ladder here. Let’s see if that is 60 feet. – What has gotten into Adaine today? – [Emily] Adaine. – [Brennan] Well within
range of your spell. – Uh, I will cast Tasha’s
Hideous Laughter on her. – Ooh, baby. – It’s a wisdom saving throw, and my spell safety C is 14. – Um, it’s 14? – Yes. – Torek looks down. (cackling) 14 you said. – [Siobhan] Mm-hmm. – Torek looks down and says, (scoffs) “You try to cast your
(laughing) elven magic at me?” (forced laughter) (coughing) There’s spit flying into her beard. “You’ll pay for this!” (laughing) And she collapses to the ground laughing her ass of. – Whoa, okay.
– Hell yeah. – Yeah, girl. – Um, Adaine fucking taking Torek Railgrinder out of combat! That is going to be Fabian. – (scoffs) You know what I’m gonna do. Uh, can my motorcycle get up? – (chuckles) It can, it’s
looking pretty fucked up. – [Lou] Can I ride it? – Yes, it is rideable. – Okay, fantastic. I would love to jump on it from, uh, can I tell my motorcycle I’d like to be headed toward Torek, and can I vault from the top of that onto my moving motorcycle? – Please give me an acrobatics check. – Of course, happy to. (dice clack) Uh, 11 plus seven equals 18. – Ah, sire, allow me to redeem myself in your eyes. (Emily laughs) (motorcycle revs) You effortlessly, (mimics flipping) bam! Right in the saddle, baby! And you are racing towards this half pipe. – Okay. (giggling) Can the motorcycle, all right, this is a lot. Can the motorcycle start on the half pipe and then can I push off in some way and use to either get to
either that level or the– – Please make an acrobatics
check with advantage. – [Lou] Fuck yes. With advantage? – With advantage.
– Oh, hell yes, baby. (dice clack) – Uh, 12 with a four. Or four, so 16 plus seven. Uh, 23. – You know what? You
don’t get in the saddle. Your fuckin’ bikes goes, you just full land, Teen Wolfin’. (laughing) (mimics revving bike) Shoom! Up. You sail through the air, twisting to look your bike in its
skull eyes as it goes, “Master, you are the most beautiful thing “that my eyes have ever beheld.” – Oh, that’s too kind of you. (Brennan mimics whooshing) – Bam. I assume the upper
level’s where you’re going? – [Lou] Yes.(chuckling) – And your bike is fuckin’
in this half pipe, baby. – Oh my God. – That’s your movement. If you wanna take an action, you can go for it.
– Of course! – Uh, I mean, I guess
I’m going to stab Torek. – Uh, go for it. – Or, yeah, I’ll stab. I’ll stab her. Uh, or attempt to stab her. – Does she get disadvantage
’cause she’s prone? – Uh, I believe so, let
me just double check that. Yeah, pretty sure prone is, you have advantage on this attack. – Great. (die clacks) We’ll use that four again. 12, 16, plus seven, 23. – Uh, cool. Uh, 23 is a hit. Do you wanna roll to
see if you crit or no? – Uh, I rolled twice, and
the higher one was 12. Uh, and then– (die clacks) 12 damage. – 12 damage. You look down. (laughing) Wah! Skewer Torek for 12 points of damage. Um, Torek gets another
save for taking damage. Uh, keeps laughing. (laughing) “Oh, stab me, will you?” (laughing) “Funny!” (laughing) Uh, incredible. That’s going to be– (chuckles)
– Wow. – What a turn. Dwarves, baby. This dude, zoom, past
your bike on the backside, back up again, up here, lands, and hurls ax at you. Hits for seven points of damage. – Ugh. – This dwarf drops in,
(whooshing) all the way up. He’s going to attack you as well, uh, sort of bouncing off your head for, no, 15 does not hit. – 15 does not hit. – Misses. (whooshes) That is now going to be, oh, there’s more dwarves. This dwarf (whooshes)
grinds again for Gorgug. Hits Gorgug for seven points of damage, that’s gonna be three. – Oh, you’re so strong. – This dwarf just, honestly, kicks his skateboard up under an arm, and just wails on Riz with an ax for, uh, six points of damage. That is going to be Fig. – Okay, I need to do an insight check to see if my suggestion didn’t work because he can’t be charmed or if I think that he just, like, maybe got the save. – Um, make insight.
– You have Bless. – Oh, yeah. – Oh, and I have Bless now. Wait, uh, okay, that’s gonna be 19. – This thing, you realize, is mindless. It cannot be, um, you look at it and see that it is covered, the amount of immunities this
thing has are staggering. You don’t think it could be
compelled, charmed, otherwise. It is covered in dwarven runes that are animating its pavement. Some of the dwarven runes
are profoundly magical, other dwarven runes mean
things like bus lane only. So, you know, it’s a mixed bag. What do you want to do with your turn? – Okay, um, I think I’m just going to, I think I’m just going to, uh, that’s not even the right thing to do. Motherfucker! I think I’m just going to run to the edge up here.
– Okay. – And hide behind right around there. Am I within 90 feet? – Of who? – Of this area? – [Brennan] Uh, let’s find out, shall we? Yeah, I’d say you’re in 90 feet. – Okay, and then if I were to cast sleep, will Fabian be in– – Faye ancestry? – You don’t have, you
do have faye ancestry, so you’re immune. Flashback to earlier yesterday. Wait now, if me son Fabian
is ever in a situation where he’s amidst those
you’re ready to cast sleep on, remember, the boy’s mother
gave him that elven blood. He can’t sleep! He can’t dream.
– Yes, papa. – And that’s fine by me, because dreaming is for failures. I don’t dream, I make it happen! – Yes, of course, papa,
you always say this. – [Brennan] (whooshing)
Back to the present day. – Awesome, okay, so
I’d like to cast sleep. On that top thing. – Hell, yeah. Um, you guys– – And I’m gonna cast it at a second level so that it’s, so I do 78. – Jesus Christ.
– Wow. – Well, that’s how many hit
points I can put to sleep. It’s not that impressive. Five. 13. Uh, 18. – 22. – 22. – 25, that’s five, right? – Yeah, five.
– That I just did? – 25. Uh, 29. Uh, 32. 39. Wait–
– 38. – [Brennan] How many more you rolling? – And then 40, I think I– – I think 38 was the line. – 38, okay, so 38. – 38 hit points worth. – Hit points worth.
– Cool. – You guys notice by the way that fire is now spreading here, but the Hangman seems to just love it. The Hangman’s about it. (chuckles) – That’s my bike! – “We should do this sometime “when there’s not a fight, Master!” – He’s just driving up and down. (mimics motorcycle revving) – Just into it. You see 48, was it 38? 38 hit points. You see that this dwarf fuckin’ passes right the fuck out. We’re gonna roll to see what direction that dwarf falls in. (gasping)
– Yeah! – I’m gonna roll a D4. I’m gonna say one is
forward, two is backward, three is to the left,
four is to the right. (die clacks) Falls to the right. (whooshes) (laughing)
– [Emily] Bye, bitch. – I’m gonna get Adaine to
make a dexterity saving throw. – Oh, shit.
(Ally laughs) – [Brian] Just a big ass
dwarf falling on your head. (die clacks) – Ughhhhh, nine. (chuckles) – Um– (dice rattle) Adaine, you take seven points of damage. – I’m sorry! – Fig, you fuckin’ hit
the first bass chord of a powerful lullaby. (mimics chord twanging) Right, well, it feels like time for me to– (snores) And the dwarf topples. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bam! Hits Adaine at the bottom of the– – Does at least the dwarf also
take some damage for falling? – The dwarf does.
(die clacking) The dwarf takes three points of damage. (laughing)
– What? That seems unfair. – I just shout, “Sorry, Adaine! “I didn’t see it goin’ that way.” (laughs) – But the dwarf is fuckin’ out. And then seeing what I just did to Adaine, I give her some Bardic Inspiration. I wink at her. – Thank you, it’s much
less weird when you do it than when she does it. – What do you mean?
(Brennan laughs) – That is going to be Torek, who, I believe at the end, uh, cool. Torek just continues. (laughing) And what’s it, 14 again? – Your spell saving thing? – Oh, 14. – Um, you see that Torek
spends her whole turn just– (laughing and panting) Right, it wasn’t that funny. And stands up at the end of her turn. – Dang. – That’s going to now be Riz. – Cool. I’m gonna use Nimble Escape to bonus action disengage
from this person. – Cool. – So I’m gonna go up here, and I’m going to, let’s
see what I’m gonna do. I guess I’ll shoot at, she’s not down anymore, right? – Uh, she is standing up, but she still has cover up there. The only reason that Adaine
doesn’t have to worry about that is Adaine has the spell sniper feat. – Okay, so I guess can
I start climbing up here and shoot from up here? – Uh, yeah, for sure. – [Brian] Great. – Cool, so you clear from there, that’s gonna probably use,
that’s difficult terrain, so that’s like five, 10, 15, 20, 25. Actually, the base of
the ladder is probably all you can get to right now.
– Okay. – You can take the shot,
but she’s gonna have cover. – Great. All right, I’ll take a shot. – [Brennan] Go for it. (dice rattle) – Fucking 15. – Not gonna do it. You hit the underside of that balcony. Cling!
– Watch it, The Ball! (laughing) (rumbling)
(stone scraping) (die clacks) – Uh, crush hits. – Me?
– Yeah. – [Brian] Oh, boy. – Ugh. (Lou chuckles) – So many little dice. If someone’s gonna get
hit, I’m glad it’s me. – Just real quick, my bike
is 100% cool with the flames? Like no worry? – No worry.
– Great. – He’s just like bathing in
it, like an otter in water. – He’s like– – Gorgug, what’s your health? – He’s good, he’s got 52. Gorgug, you take 23
points point of damage. – Half?
– Never mind! – Halved, 23 points of damage halved, so that’s 11 points of damage. I’m gonna need you to
make an athletics check, if you’d be so kind. – Athletics check?
– Yeah, opposed athletics. – With Bless or no?
– With Bless, yeah. – Okay.
– Hell, yeah. (die clacks) – Uh, that’s– – [Brennan] Did you beat a 19? – Um, I got a 15. Or a 14. – This thing hits you and wham! Sends you flying into a ravine, inches from this bubbling green shit, and you take an additional
six points of damage. Halved to three. So wham! Knocks you on your fucking ass. You’re prone. And Crush lumbers forward after you. – I’m at 38. – [Brennan] Kristen,
that’s going to be you. – Okay, um, I have kind
of okay animal handling. Can I beckon that crazy vulture to see if it has any answers? – Uh, sure, make an animal handling check. – Okay, with Bless? – [Brennan] Yeah, with Bless. (die clacks) – Uh, let’s see, what is that? A one, that’s 13. Animal handling, 18. – Um, you beckon to the vulture, the vulture takes off
on its wings. (squawks) And flies away. (laughing) – Oh, no! No! – What does it mean? – Oh, we put too much, (chuckles) we’ve invested so much
stock in that vulture. – It was just such a gorgeous set piece. (laughing)
– I know. We all were like, the key is the vulture! – That’s going to now be, but you can see take your
action, still take your turn. That’s a free animal handling check. – Cool, am I able to do an insight check and try to get more answers about why the fuck we’re here? – Yeah, tell me what
you’re having insight into. – Can I watch like the perimeter and see if anything’s coming in, or if it, like– – [Brennan] Sure, watch the perimeter. – All right. (die clacks) Nat one. – Always with the nat ones. – Perimeter’s good, everything’s good. Honestly?
– Oh, great. – This fight’s good.
– Honestly, everything’s fine. – Hell yeah.
– This fight’s good, dude. – This fight is good! – Oh, sorry, that was your insight check. You can take your action. – You know what? I’ll just run. I’ll run as far as I can. (chuckles) – [Brennan] Just like in this area? – [Ally] If I can go up
that thing, that’d be dope. – All right. One, two, three. Yeah, do was have, um– – You can just hang my bible
from one of those things. – Cool, you start taking
off up that ladder. – Trying to get some height as well. – That’s your movement, do you want to take an action as well? Or if you want to take a dash action, you can move even farther. – I can’t use Hold Person
on this golem, right? – You don’t think that
would work, probably. – I’ll do, uh, I’ll do
a dash action, yeah. – Dope. You get even farther up this ladder up to about here. – Cool, if I just want to be on the second one, can I do that? – Oh, sure, you can do that, yeah. – Just to clarify, like, over this, this is not the cliff, right? The cliff is this way, right?
– Cliff’s that way. – Oh, that’s the quarry.
– This edge over here. – Yeah.
– Okay, cool. – Okay, we’ve seen this monster
avoid this big green thing? – Uh, you’ve seen the monster
avoid the big green thing. You can feel free to make an insight check into the monster if you want. – Okay.
(die clacks) Uh, 14.
– With Bless. – Oh.
(die clacks) 15. – Um, you see that as the
monster hit Gorgug, wham! It stumbled for a second. The half pipe on its back
is not supposed to be there. It is extremely wobbly. – We gotta ride that half pipe. – [Brennan] And top heavy. – Cool. – We gotta ride it? – Yeah, we gotta direct him to fall in either the cliff or in the green stuff. – Hell yeah. – That’s going to be, uh, Gorgug, it’s your turn. – Okay, so I have to take part of my turn to get up, right? – [Brennan] Half your movement, yeah. – Okay. I want to get up and
do an acrobatics check to jump on it’s back. (Brennan chuckles) – Great, go ahead, use half your movement. Yeah, go ahead and use
your acrobatics check, or your athletics check,
whichever one you wanna use. – [Ally] Do you have high
acrobatics or athletics? – I’m sorry, yeah, athletics is six. – [Ally] Oh, hell yeah. Okay, cool. (die rattles) – Uh, I got, um, 14. – 14, okay. This thing’s going to get an
attack of opportunity on you as you attempt to climb it up. If it hits, it’s gonna potentially knock you right back off of it. Um, what’s your AC again? – 14?
– 14. (die clacks) (snickers) – Fuck, somebody fuckin’– – 16. 21. Uh, 26 damage, halved to 13. I’m gonna need you to make
an opposed athletics check. – Uh, okay. (dice rattle) Um, okay, I got a 20. Not nat. – Not nat 20? Uh, this thing rolls very high as well. Uh, it, as it flings you off, let’s see what direction you go in. Um, I’m gonna go ahead
and roll real quick. We’ll say one is acid, two is front, three is left, four is right. (die clacks) Four, so it flings you this direction. (whooshes) Bam. You land here behind it. (growls) As it alters its orientation. – I don’t know if I’m good
at fighting this thing. (laughing) – I think you can’t just, I’m yelling in elvish, ’cause
that’s our code language, and Gorgug has no idea what I’m saying. – Well, the truth is that
anyone else would be dead, so Gorgug’s actually great
at fighting this thing. Um, that’s Gorgug’s turn. Adaine, that’s going to be you. – I would like to do a
Knowledge Arcana check on this big boy. – [Brennan] Sure, go for it. – (snickers) Big boy. – Seven and eight. 14? – Uh, 14, 14’s not bad. This thing has immunities
to psychic effects. It also has immunities
to non-magical weaponry, so it will not take damage from weapons. In terms of things about it, you just see that, uh,
you got a 14, right? Um, you don’t think it is connected to Torek or the dwarves. You think it will remain animated even if the dwarves are gone. – Great. – That is going to be, that’s for free. What do you wanna do? – I would like to cast Fire Bolt at him and then hide behind
that column right there. – Uh, at the golem? – Yes, at the golem.
– Cool. – You cast Fire Bolt, go
ahead and roll an attack. (dice rattle) – Uh, 21, 27. – [Brennan] 27 hits! Go ahead and roll damage. – And that’s one D10. (die clacks) 10.
– Hell yeah. – 10 damage?
– Ooh! – Hell yeah. Adaine raises her hand and
(whooshes) fire releases, (mimics smashing) and actually melts some of the tar and the asphalt. (roars) Hurts this thing, and it
whips around to look at you. It doesn’t look visibly
incredibly injured. Looks like it didn’t get hurt
that much, but it got hurt. Um, Fabian, that’s gonna be you. – Uh, (chuckles) I’d like to first ready my, can I communicate with my motorcycle be at the base, be underneath
this area that I’m in. – Mm-hmm, yeah. – And then can I attempt to grapple Torek? – Yeah, you can make grapple check. – Great, is that athletics, or– – Oppose athletics, yeah.
– Great. (dice clack) – [Brennan] Torek got an eight. – I got a much higher than that. Can I dangle Torek over the edge? – (laughs) Yes, you may. – Uh, and can I, call of this beast! – I would die before callin’ off– – Then you will. And drop. (laughing)
– Yeah! – Uh, incredible. (Lou laughs) Let’s see how far that is. 40 feet, dope. (snickering) – Well, this is the most
vicious I’ve ever been. – I know, Fabian! – After my father’s scolding. – [Emily] Way different than
you hiding behind a barkeep. – [Lou] Right. – Bam! Torek fuckin’ eats it at the bottom. Boom! Still moving, but she groans and says, (groans) “Fancy elven jackanapery.” And your motorcycle appears at the base. – Do I still have a movement, or could I– – [Brennan] That’s your, you
have your movement, yeah. – Can I jump? – Acrobatics check for it. – Is there, yeah, can I scramble down in some way that has me landing on the– – [Brennan] Yeah, make
an acrobatics check. (dice clack) – Oh, nat one.
(Ally whistles) – Uh, great, you go to
skid down this thing, and you fall 40 feet. – You’re just laying on top of each other. – Can I land on top? (chuckles) Can I aim to land on top of her? – You take 12 points of damage,
bam, as you hit the dirt. – Well, I’m a very cool guy, and a very lame guy all at once. (laughs) – Uh, great that’s going
to be, um, the dwarves. Um, (singing) this dwarf in the green
was hurled down there. This dwarf hops up, he’s
gonna take a swing at Riz. – [Brian] God. – Cool. That dwarf takes a swing at Riz. Riz, what’s your armor class? – 15. – 15 hits.
– Fuck. – Seven points of damage.
– Shit. – Um, this dwarf (whooshes)
shreds down this long ladder at Adaine. Hits Adaine for three,
five points of damage. Bam. This other dwarf is
going to skate over here, hurl another hammer at Riz. Um, and two, eleven, 14 does not hit, right?
– No. – 14 does not hit, cool. And then this dwarf is
going to scoot over here to Riz and take a swing at him. (dice clack) That’s gonna hit for six points of damage. – All right.
– How you doin’, Riz? – I’m at 19. I’m not lovin’ it, but I’m okay. – That’s going to be Fig. These dwarves are just fuckin’ wailing. It’s like, “Goblin! “There’s a goblin in the
halls of our fathers! “Lame, lame!” (Siobhan laughs) – Okay, I have two things
I’d like to do before. One, I’d like to shout
to everyone in elvish, “Do we want to get this
ramp off this golem?” – No!
– No! – Okay, okay, okay. And then the second
thing is I want to know– – What? (laughing) – The second thing is I
want to do an insight check. You said that they looked
scared of the fire at first, but then relaxed. – You can make an insight check. – Oh, with my thing. So 21. – 21. You noticed that as they look at the fire, all of them look around
here, Torek has dropped. When the fire first happened,
you thought you saw Torek look down one of these manhole covers. There’s like these open kind
of vents into the floor. You thought you saw Torek look down there as though expecting something
to come from down there. – Mm, shit. – Okay.
– Shit. – I’m gonna– (Ally giggles) I’m gonna cast Disguise Self and pretend to be Johnny Spells. – Cool, you have a movement left. – And then I’m gonna shout to the dwarves, “Daddio, I thought I
told you this is my pad.” – [Brennan] Uh–
(Emily laughs) – I don’t know. – Make an intimidate check. – [Emily] Okay. – With Bless.
– With Bless, yeah. – With Bless. Oh, I got a nat one. – No!
– No! – You see Torek says, “He’s back! “Kill him! Don’t let
him get below ground!” – Okay, well, we got a clue out of it. (laughing) – Torek Railgrinder, uh, she holds up, she first of all gets up, holds up her shield and goes, “That my fathers and my father’s fathers “might see me shred, “and that our videos
might get us sponsored “by the gods above.” Uh, and you see, whoo, a
legion of dwarven spirits appears around her.
– Fuck. – And she prepares herself to do battle. That is now, bum bum, um, when it starts its turn there, okay, cool. That is now going to be Riz. I’m going to need you to
make a wisdom saving throw. – Fuck. With Bless?
– Yup. – Oh, 21, 22.
– Hell yeah. – Okay, 22, that’s a save. You only take six points of radiant damage from these spirit guardians
of Torek Railgrinder. What is your turn? – Cool, um, I’m going
to yell to the dwarves, and say, “Um, I think we have
some of the same enemies, “and to prove that we’re on your side, “we’re about to do something so sick.” And then I’m going to use Nimble Escape to disengage from these guys. I’d like to climb up here, and I want to shoot my gun so
that I can use the momentum to propel the ladder back.
– Whoa! (laughs) – Um, please, uh, shoot the gun. I’m gonna give you one point
of inspiration as a DM, so add a D6 to this roll.
– Dope. – [Brennan] Go for it. (dice rattle) – Uh, 11, 15, plus the attack, so 21. – [Siobhan] And you have bless. (cross-talking) – 21? Riz scrambles (mimics
scurrying) all the way up. Boom! Your fuckin’ Arcubus blasts
the wall of the factory. (creaking)
(mimics whooshing) There is a moment where you are fucking 80 feet in the air. All of the dwarves look up, and you see that their eyes
fill as they gaze up and go, “Goblin or nay, “that’s tight as hell!” (laughing) (whooshing) Boom! You land here right in
the midst of the half pipe on this thing’s back. Make an insight check as soon as you land. – [Brian] Sure. – [Brennan] Go ahead and
add a Bless to that as well. – Nat 20. – Ooh! – This golem is strong, it is impervious, and a fuckin’ feather
duster would knock it over. This thing is so top heavy, these dwarves have so fucked this with the half pipe on its back that all it’s gonna take
is getting this thing, uh, knocking this down is something that it’s
going to be easy to do. – Great. – Um, incredible action. That’s your movement, your attack. That’s the dopest, it’s the dopest shit. (laughing) – Hell yeah.
– D&D’s a fun game. – Because sometimes people
choose to do something cool and it’s great. It is Crush’s turn. Crush is gonna, uh, oh my God, what is Crush gonna do? Crush looks up, knowing that
there’s something on its back, grabs this fucking thing in one hand, and starts back scratchering, like wap, wap, wap on top it. Go ahead and make a
dexterity saving throw, DC 15. – Okay.
(dice clack) Uh, 21. – (chuckles) You are on this half pipe on a moving fucking pavement giant with this huge fucking
piece of like rebar. Wham, wham! And you’re like diving,
pitching back and forth. Your goblin nimbleness, (panting) like, getting out of the way just in time. And Crush is gonna take a
movement in a random direction. (die clacks) Yeah, Crush just rushes over here to this part of the battlefield. (growls) Now holding this thing. Cool, that’s now going
to be Kristen’s turn. – Okay, great. Can I do an insight check to see how far down that manhole goes or any information about it? – Yes, go ahead and roll. – Okay.
(dice clack) Cool, yeah, 19 plus insight is seven, yeah, I have a high. – Your residual Detect Evil detects a strong evil presence from deep within the manhole. Something that feels like fire and flame. Um–
– Shit. – [Brennan] It feels like
a very long way down. There might be some ways
of climbing down there, but it feels like a long way down. – Okay, it’s just straight
up hell down there. Um, I’m gonna yell in elvish, like, uh, broken religious elvish, “One big hand holds us all, Adaine. “Big hand, uh, wood! “Mage hand to pipe, “summon me and thou.” And then–
(laughing) And then I’m gonna go like, huh? Huh? – Honestly, it made more
sense than the shirt thing. (laughing) – They burned their shirts in the street! I mean, I don’t really
have anything else– – Isn’t, uh, Gorgug pretty hurt? – I’m at 25 out of 53. – You can start rushing out there to try to get there to help them. – Yeah, we’re probably
gonna need heals soon, ’cause you’re at, I’m at 13. – [Zac] I’m at 25. – Your ladder’s now gone. – Oh, shit. All right, yeah, I’ll have to make like– – Make acrobatics, yeah.
– Acrobatics, okay. – Oh, no. – Can I just try to jump to
the top of that half pipe? – [Brennan] Sure. – So it’s a little bit–
– Yell to the dwarves. – Yeah, we’ll call it a DC 15 acrobatics. – Okay. 10, two, four, or 12. I have zero acrobatics, so, uh, no, I have negative three acrobatics. Dammit.
(Emily chuckles) – You jump, beef it, slide in the middle of the
half pipe, catch on fire. – Great!
(laughing) – What?
– Oh, no. – Just planking on fire.
– I change my mind. I didn’t want to jump into the half pipe, I forgot it was on fire! – You take four falling damage, I’ll also need you to
roll a dexterity save and try not to catch on fire. – Great, uh, let’s see. Uh, 43. – What’s the dex that she
needs to not set on fire? Hang on. – [Brennan] 10 to not catch on fire. – Oh, then I give her my 11 throw. – [Lou] She got it. (cross-talking) – I have to say it before– – Before the roll happens?
– Yeah. – You use it, you’re saved. – Remember, you have a D6 of
Bardic Inspiration, though. – It’s true, next time. – You do not catch on fire,
you take the falling damage. You are surrounded by a flaming half pipe. – [Ally] Yeah, it was important. – You hear your bike say, “Master, “if we were to do some kind of
jump on a flaming half pipe, “wouldn’t that be something?” – I mean, yes, it would. – “Let’s figure out a way to do that!” – [Lou] Fuck yeah.
(laughing) – That is now going to be Gorgug. – Okay, so acid is not the same as, it’s physical damage? – Acid is a form of physical damage. Um, you’re not sure if the golem would or would not be
effected by the acid. Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn’t. Um, up to you. – Uh, I, hm, okay. Gorgug is gonna try to do, just to try to do cool shit, guys, Gorgug is gonna try to jump
on the back of the ramp to try to use the momentum to pull it back off of its feet. – Uh, okay, go ahead and make an opposed, your basically trying to
do like a shove, right? – A pull, but yes, a shove. – And I will give him my 17. – Oh!
– Okay. – Can I roll my Bless on top of it? Or do I need to? – I guess it actually
is replacing your roll. You could roll your Bless
and then add your athletics. – Okay.
– Ooh, four! – Uh, so 27. – Um, you see that Gorgug gets up as this thing’s toddling around, leaps up, hangs onto the
back of this fuckin’ thing. – [Lou] Oh, I’ve got a plan. – (chuckles) Just like, you
guys see just his hoodie is expanding as his muscles
fucking stretch out. – [Ally] Cool! – And you see that this
hulking thin goes (grunts), and stumbles five feet back. Now Gorgug is hanging
right over the pit of acid. – Oh.
– Shit. – That is now going to
be, um, awesome turn. And Adaine, you see her
eyes are glowing white with this diviner’s energy as she’s like, “I have seen these things to come.” And speaking of which, Adaine, having seen them to come,
it is now your turn. – Can I use my residual
comprehend languages to understand what the fuck it was that she was trying to say to me? (chuckles) – Yeah, what was the meaning of what– – Hm? Y’all didn’t get it? – [Siobhan] (chuckling) I have no idea. – Okay, I’ll put it simply. Potlucks, y’all. Church. God now, or else fire. No, use your Mage Hand, and pile the wooden
crates onto the half pipe to weigh it down. – I think Mage Hand can only do– – Mage Hand can only,
five pounds of damage, but here’s my idea.
– You can put it on, though. – You know what? (chuckles) – Uh, tell me if this will work. – [Brennan] Mm-hmm. – If I use Web, can I fucking Spider-Man some web to the end of the half pipe and then the other end to
the floor so it, like– – To create like a rope
or something like that? – Yeah, so if he steps forward, he falls backwards, essentially. – Oh, which will like
prevent him from, uh, go ahead, I’m gonna need you to make, this is like crafty spell work. Go ahead and make an arcana check. Call it a DC, this is like using a spell very much as it’s not intended. I’m gonna say a DC 20 arcana check. – Ah, shit, okay. Oh, I have Bardic Inspiration. (Brennan chuckles)
– Yeah, baby! – [Ally] Hell yeah. (dice clack) – Hell yeah, dude. – [Zac] 18, 19– – Plus six. (whooshing) – Strands of elven light. (whooshing) All the fuckin’ tests
you failed at Hoodall, all the fuckin’ times that you panicked and didn’t get it right, you are improvising a spell on the spot for a different purpose
than it’s used for. You see Gorgug hanging in the midst, now you have two fucking
web strands to stand on, and the back of the half pipe, bam, anchors to the ground, and the thing lurches even more uncomfortable
than it already is. – I knew it, I knew I was good at magic. I knew it! (laughing) – [Brennan] Fabian, that’s you, baby. – Okay, ugh, so many, okay, so this, what’s happening right now is that Gorgug is pulling it down– – The webs are keeping it in place, Riz is like confusing it on its back. – Okay, all right. Okay, is there any way I could, like, grab something to like, I have this crazy, I want to reach something
out that Gorgug can grab, and then rev the motorcycle
in the other direction pulling it further this way. (laughs) – That’s literally what the web strand is. – Okay, so I’d like to
grab one of the webs, and then rev my motorcycle
in the opposite. So I guess I have to get up from prone, I’ll use an action surge if I need to, but to get up from prone, get on the bike, whip it around to grab a web, and then rev it in the opposite direction. – Uh, insane. Um, go ahead, are you gonna let Torek get an attack of opportunity on you or no? – Happily. – Cool.
(Emily laughs) Torek slugs you for 13 points of damage. – I take it hard on the
chin with no emotion. (shouting) – You leap on the Hangman. “Sire, this is sick! “It is sick what we do now!” – [Lou] Yes, it is! – Go ahead, can we bring
out the Box of Doom? – This is kinda like
the box of, like, dope. (laughing)
– Box of Dope. Rename it the Box of Dope for this time. – Depending on what
this roll is for, right? (dice rattle) – Yeah, actually, we’re gonna
get the Box of Doom for, uh, even it works, it’s gonna be a Box of Doom for you to jump away. (chuckles) – So what’s gonna happen is this, let me set the scene here. Riz, in the middle of the half pipe, furiously dodging from this ladder as the golem tries to destroy him. Gorgug hanging in the scaffolding at back yanking this thing towards the acid pool. Adaine lifting up these
strands of moonlight web as these robes snap and stick into place! And Fabian, (grunts) fresh
wound across the jaw, leaps onto the Hangman. You grab the base of one of these ropes. Now what’s gonna happen is this. This is golem has disadvantage
on athletics checks, but it has a tremendous strength score. You are going to roll
your athletics check, your one athletics check, okay? Um, in this, the Box of Doom. I’m gonna roll two dice.
– Okay. – We’re going with the lower number, but the lower number, it’s gonna add six to that lower number. You need to beat that. – And do I have Bless in this situation? – [Brennan] You have
Bless in this situation. – [Emily] Yeah, baby. (dice clatter) – Ugh.
– 17 plus 23. – Damn! – Yeah, six plus four, so– – Damn! – You (mimics revving), and amazingly, you see that Gorgug is holding one strand, you’ve got the other tied
to the back of the Hangman, and this thing kneels down one one knee. (roars) It’s not going down. – Uh, can I second wind
before my turn is up? – Yes, you may second wind.
– But he’s unstable, right? – Oh, incredibly unstable, the golem is incredibly unstable. You see that Torek Railgrinder says, “Crush! They’re going to
put Crush in the acid! “Stop them at any cost!” – And I gain, uh, nine health. – Um, you gain nine health. – [Emily] Okay. – Ooh, baby. – Guys, I’m sorry. (chuckles) – It was a good try. – It was a good try. – These dwarves, um, all skate past you. (rock music) And they’re all, so you get
an attack of opportunity on the first one of them. – Okay. – [Brennan] With your
rapier, go ahead and take it. (Ally chuckles) – Uh, 15, uh, 20, 22. – That’s gonna hit. Do you wanna go for the injured one or one of the uninjured ones? – I’ll go for the injured one. – [Brennan] Cool, go
ahead and roll damage. – Um, (singing) uh, that’s gonna be nine. – One of them is badly injured. (grunts) You slash him as he goes by. They’re gonna take four attacks on you. What is your armor class my man? – Me? My armor class is 19. (dice clack) – One of those is a critical hit. (groaning) (dice rattle) Uh, oof. (chuckles) Uh, seven damage from one of the dwarves. – Wow.
– Wow. – As they rush past you, (grunting) all of them trying to stop
Fabian before it’s too late. – Ah-ha. – Fig, go ahead and
make a perception check with that Bless with praying. – Critical hit means 20, right? – Yep. – Uh, I’ve got a 16, uh, 18. – [Breannan] You hear from
down that manhole cover– (faint growling) Fig. – Daddy? – [Brennan] Uh, it is your turn. – Okay, I would like to, let’s see. So I want to, one, two, three, four, five, six. So I’m gonna run around here, and I would like to, if I use a Cantrip, can I use Healing Ward as a bonus action? If I use a Cantrip, can I use
a spell as a bonus action? – You can, I think. – Yeah, fine, yeah, go for it. – So I’m comin’ here, and I would like to use Thaumaturgy to create tremors in the ground underneath the golem for a minute. – Okay, Thaumaturgy’s a Cantrip, I don’t think it’s gonna create– – [Emily] It wouldn’t destabilize him? – I don’t think it would destabilize it. It’s like, yeah, it’s a Cantrip– – Motherfucker! All right, in that
case, I’m just going to, I’m not going to do that then. Um, I guess I’m just gonna start
running towards the manhole but on my way, I’m gonna Healing Ward, I’m gonna Healing Ward my boy. – Thank you.
– Riz, awesome. – So you were over here, right? Cool. So you’re taking a full dash action. So it’s gonna be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. – [Emily] Okay, I’m
gonna stick my head down. (Brennan chuckles) I’m gonna stick my head down and say, “Daddy, I’m here.” – [Brennan] You see a red, glowing light. You have more movement left
if you wanna jump down. – I’m jumpin’.
– No! – Oh, my God. – I’m gonna hang from it. – You see like a red, glowing light at the base of– – Can I do a perception, is that daddy? Uh, I got–
– Plus Bless. – Oh, plus my Bless. Uh, I got 20. (stammers) Does this feel safe? – There’s, you look down there, and you see a thing far away, glowing. It looks like a drum kit. – I drop! I’m goin’ down!
– Whoosh! – I watch all this
happen, and I’m just like what the fuck?
(laughs) – Oh, and also I gave you, ooh, seven plus, 14.
– What is happening? – Uh, dope. – Fig, you take seven points
of damage on the drop. – Gladly.
– Bam! – As you hit in your combat boots, you see that it’s just
like rubble and dust, and all of the ancient mining and refining of the mithril down here. You can smell the mithril in the air, and you see a giant, red gem in the wall. And before it, a glowing,
ruby red drum kit. Kick drum, high hat, incredible, tom toms, every fuckin’– (mimics drumming from
“In the Air Tonight”) ♪ I can feel it ♪ (laughing) So that will happen on your next turn. You take your drumsticks out, approach it. Oh, I’m actually gonna
need, Fabian and Adaine, we actually skipped your turn, I’m afraid, but you guys would have each
had to make a wisdom save. We’ll do that now.
– A wisdom save? – For the spirit guardians
that Torek Railgrinder has. So go ahead, give me a
wisdom save, each of you. (dice clack) – Uh–
– Oh, shit. – 18, 17. – [Brennan] 17, and what’d you get? – Seven.
– Seven. – So Adaine, you’re gonna take, um, 16, you’re gonna take 21 points of damage. – Oh, shit, I’m on three. – Hoo hoo!
– Fuck, okay. – And then you will take, um, four and two, two, it’s eight, four points of damage. – Okay, 13. – As these dwarven ghosts just, (grunting) you know, Torek has mentioned hall of our fathers so many times, and these are the fathers, they’re there. (grunting) Torek, um, is going to rush forward and attempt to Lay Low Fabian. (shouting)
(die clacks) Does a 18 hit. – No.
(Brennan chuckles) – Hell yeah.
– Oh! – (whooshes) On your fucking, you’re literally on a stolen bike. You dip the bike, stationary,
you’re staying in one place, all the way to the side
and dip it back up as she, “It cannae be!” – It can! (laughing) Clearly.
– That’s gonna be Riz, baby. – Okay, um, I am going to hold my action and yell for Gorgug to
get the fuck out of there. – To get the fuck out of there? Okay. – [Brian] Or to not be somewhere where you’re gonna fall in the acid. – Okay. Um, noted. (laughing) – Uh, are you holding an action? – [Brian] I’m holding an action. – What are you holding it for? What trigger? – To do, I’m gonna wait
to see what Gorgug does, and see if he pulls it down anymore, or if he gets out of the way. I want to do something
to try to knock him back, but I don’t wanna do while Gorgug’s there. – It sounds like you’re saying you want to take a help action to give maybe Gorgug advantage
or something like that? – You can get Gorgug
maybe up onto the pipe. – You know what I mean,
’cause it sounds like you’re holding an action to do
something helpful to Gorgug. You can just take the
help action if you want. – Okay, I’ll just take
the help action to Gorgug. – All right, rad. Um, I might be wrong, but that sounds– – Yeah, okay, I’ll do it
in a sick way, though. Can I, I would like to climb up and try to ride my briefcase down, and I yell to you to pull down at the exact moment I reach it up, and I’m gonna try to grab this and shoot my gun as he pulls it. – Give me an acrobatics check. (dice rattle) – 14, plus– – [Brennan] DC 20. – Oh, only 18. – DC 20? All right. You, (whooshes) as you get up, you get up here, bam! Go ahead and make your attack roll. (die clacks) – Uh, 13. – 13. You miss on the attack roll. You get up on your briefcase, (whooshing) fly up through here, and your briefcase slips out from under you,
shoots off into the wreckage. You fall, I’m gonna need you to make, business cards are flying in the air– – No! – [Brennan] I’m gonna
need you to make a DC 15 dexterity save to grab onto something as you fall towards the acid. – With the Bless. – Oh, yeah. (dice rattle) Why am I keep using these dice? They’re cursed. These ones are good. (dice rattle) – Hey. 15. – Dexterity saving throw?
– Dexterity saving throw. – 22. – You see you, whoop! Your briefcase flies from under you, business cards everywhere, you drop, and you fuckin’
grab Gorgug’s foot, hanging, both of you, now hanging from the fucking end of this ramp. (grunts) That is going to be Crush. Crush is going to take a
swing at both of you guys. Gorgug, what is your armor class? – 14? – Hoo boy. Uh, this thing hits you for– – Fuck! He can touch me? (chuckles) – Yep. Wails around and hits you for, oh my God. That’s only 16, halved to eight. – Okay, do I fly off, or am I still– – You do not fly off. It’s hitting you with
this like rail thing, so it reaches around, wham! Hits you for eight points of damage. How much are you at right now? – I’m at 17. – (whooshing) Bam! You shake as Gorgug is
smacked with this ladder. That is now going to be Kristen’s turn. – Okay, great. I am in flames right now I believe. Can I do a perception check to see if maybe I can meet the devil? – Yeah, go for it. (dice clack) – 15, one, 16. Uh, that is 23. – 23, you look into the
flames around the half pipe, and you see a face materialize. “Kristen.” – Yes. Um, who are you? – I am Old Scratch, Nicodemus. I am the fiddler at the crossroads. The devil, I’m the devil. – Okay, okay, great. Um, can I ask you a question really quick? – Yeah, I got time.
(chuckling) – Why do bad things happen to good people? – Because they do them to themselves, they want it to happen.
(mimics flames rushing) – No! It’s another terrible answer! – At least he gave you an answer, right? – My God! – Kristen, do you want to cast a spell– – Yes. I’m fucking pissed! I run out of the fire,
completely let down. I would have gladly switched to Satan if I just got a fucking answer! – That was an answer, that was a good one. – No, it wasn’t! No, bad things don’t happen to good people ’cause they do them to themselves, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. (Brennan laughs) – All right, I am going to, I just ran into the cloud
of skaters, God dammit. Um, is there a way to like– – Can you go off the
other side of the ramp? – [Brennan] Yeah, you can go
off the other side of the ramp. – Okay, I’d rather do that.
– Cool. – But I need to be able to
cast something to Adaine. Can I get off the ramp and
kind of out to the side? – [Brennan] Yeah, sure. – [Ally] Okay, I want to cast
this healing Disciple of Life. – Okay, okay, Preserve Life?
– Preserve Life, probably? – Cool, yeah. – Great, so that brings me up to half. – [Brennan] Up to half, yeah. – Great, so I’m at 15. – Yeah, of course. – [Brennan] Rad. – Hey. (chuckles) – [Brennan] And that only
uses, I think, like seven or– – You’re getting worse. You’re getting worse. – It only uses what? – Yeah, do more people get to do it? Do you get to do several targets? – [Brennan] You can do multiple targets. – Oh, then hell yeah. Who else do I, you, Riz? – I’m good, ’cause she healed me– (cross-talking) – I’m at 17, so it could
hit me like 10 or something. – Okay, I got you, yeah. – [Brennan] Do you wanna
give like 10 to both of them? – Uh, yeah.
– Great. – Awesome. (mimics whooshing) Place fills with light. You find that your light
is no longer corn-scented. It seems to have lost some
of the yellow flicker to it. – Great, okay, more
questions than answers. So this is new. – [Brennan] Gorgug, it is your turn. – Okay, um– – [Brian] Do something sick. – With Riz, can I climb to here, and then just stomp on it? Do an athletics check to just jump and then try to drive it– – Difficult terrain, you
can use your movement. I’m gonna say that you can just grab Riz and get up to the top of that ramp. – Is there some way we can time it? – [Brennan] Um, uh– – Oh, I’m gonna hold, I’ll go up to the top, and
I’ll hold my action for– – [Brennan] For Fabian? – For Fabian.
– Insane. – [Zac] When Fabian goes, I will jump. – Incredible.
– Yeah. – This is the coolest
shit that’s ever happened. (chuckling) Okay, you’re gonna hold your action, you guys are gonna do the
athletics check together. Let’s get that Box of Doom
in here one more time. – Did I use my action surge to get up and get into this position? – You did, yes.
– Okay, fantastic. – Adaine, you’re holding for Fabian, Adaine, it is your turn. – I would like to get up next to Fabian, and then I would like
to cast Burning Hands in a, uh, it’s 15-foot range, but with my feet, it’s 30 feet cone at all of those fucking
dwarves right there. – Hoo hoo hoo!
– Sweet! – [Emily] Yeah! – [Siobhan] And it’s a
dexterity saving throw for them. It’s three D6 fire damage, and if they save, they
get half of that damage. – [Brennan] Gotcha, go ahead and roll. – So a six, nine, 14.
– Nice. – 14 damage?
– Yes. – [Siobhan] So it’s seven if they– (Brennan mimics rushing flame) – This dwarf is fully down, the rest (mimics flame)
catch completely on fire. (pained screaming) It is back! You see (mimics rushing flame). Our homes were burned much like this now! The ironic similarity! Or is that irony or is it just poetic! (pained screaming) Their beards all catching on fire. You are a demon, you’ve just strode into the
middle of this battlefield– – Christ, Adaine. Ugh. – [Brennan] Uh, you see– – Can I, very quickly at the end, jump on the back of his bike? Is that allowed, or no? – Oh, yeah, jump on it.
– Great. – Give it a little extra weight. – You see that, as you get
on the back of the bike, you see that the Hangman goes, “Master, this one wields flame “with great proficiency.” – Yes, it’s quite impressive. – “I can’t see back there, is she, uh, “what are we talkin’? “I mean, cute, good looking, or–” – Bike, Hangman.
(laughing) No. No, we don’t talk about women in that way. – “I never shall speak of
them in this way again.” (laughing) – But she is rather cute. – “Course, nothing wrong
with that, it’s fine. “People being beautiful is
a wonderful part of life.” – Well, it’s just you went straight there. – “I did go straight
there, that’s not right.” (laughing) (chuckles) Okay, Box of Doom. I’m gonna need, so here’s
what’s gonna happen. Fabian and Gorgug are each gonna roll an athletics check.
– Cool. – Um, we are, you get advantage on it. I’m gonna pick a weirder
looking D20 so we can tell. – We both have Bless, too. – We both have Bless. – Both have Bless. Get ready for a shit load of math here in the Box of Doom. Uh, go for it, go over here. If you wanna hold it right
there, I’m gonna toss ’em in. – I’ll be your magical assistant. – Get ready. One, two, three. – [Lou] Nat 20. (cheering) – I rolled a five, I’ll just re-roll that. – Re-roll that? Okay,
go ahead, re-roll that. – Get a second nat 20. – Nine, better than– – Better, better! You see– – 13, so that’s still a 19 for me. – A 19 from Gorgug.
– That’s so cool. – Allow me to narrate this moment. – [Zac] Please. – Fabian cranks the fucking
engine of the Hangman, aided in terms of pure rocket velocity by the insane burning hands that are spewing forth from Adaine. The strands of web attached to the bike, Gorgug grabs Riz under one arm, adding extra weight to the jump, up, boom! (growls) I will need a dexterity saving
throw from Gorgug and Riz. – I have advantage, can
I help him with my throw? – Actually, if you just want to carry him and take him with you with
an advantage saving throw– – I mean, do you have good dexterity? – I have great dexterity,
but I have really bad luck. I’ll jump out of the way at
the last second if you fail. – Uh, go ahead and roll on this, roll a dexterity saving throw. – Okay, with Bless? – [Brennan] With Bless, yep. (die clacks) – 20. (cheering)
– [Brennan] Nat 20! – Ohh! – You– – This is the dopest
thing we’ve ever done. – [Brennan] (mimics booming)
You guys leap from here. (stone crumbles) Bam!
– Oh, dope. – Into the fucking acid. You see this golem is covered. This is the stuff they used to strip rock from mirthril back in the day. (growls and roars) As it corrodes, the half pipe sinking into the fucking acid! You guys, both of you guys, fuckin’ tear. Voo! And (mimics squealing
tires) spin back around. You guys, on the strands
of the fucking web, go, woo, through the
half pipe and the flame, wah wah wah, and land,
boom boom, over here. (cheering)
(shouting) – So dope! – Whoa! (chuckles) – The dwarves, the living
dwarves turn to face you, all of them standing here with Torek. – Fig, it is your turn. Could you kindly give
me a performance check? – A performance check? Okay. (clears throat) I got Bless. Please, this is the most
important performance of my life. Okay, I got a 26. – 26? (cross-talking) – 17 plus, oh, sorry, 24. – Oh.
– Still. – Only a 24. You guys have just, you’re
both standing up here, this fucking Goblin and half-orc. You’re like partially singed and flaming. Fabian has Adaine on his bike, you’re like covered in magical energy. Kristen, you’re also
partially ensconced in flames, standing here surrounded by light. The dwarves turn to look at
you as their fucking golem sinks and dissolves into the acid. Torek goes, “Now, you see.” (drumsticks clack)
(mimics drumming) (Ally chuckles) The manhole begins to glow. Torek looks and goes, “Drums. “Drums in the deep.” (Ally chuckles) “We shredded too greedily and too swiftly! “Our fathers, they unleashed
something horrible!” The ruby, deep beneath the factory, glows, and you hear– (mimics electric guitar tuning) – Do I have a band? – Oh, my God. He’s opening the box! – Bursting with you on his back– (laughing and cheering) – [Siobhan] Oh my god! – [Lou] What the fuck? – [Ally] What the fuck? – Bursting forward, an ancient
demon of flame and fire. (mimics electric guitar) With the sickest fucking
metalest power chord behind him. (mimics drumming) And you appear here, your
smoking drumsticks in your hand. – What’s up? (laughs) – Who the fuck is that? – Who the fuck is that, Fig? – This is awesome. – It’s probably my dad! Daddy? – You see the dwarves all go, “It has awoken!” And fuckin’ skate the hell outta here. They grab their friend and fuckin’ peace. – One, two, three, four! (mimics whip lashing) (growling and roaring) Fiery whip crack. (screeching) Uh, you descend from the thing’s shoulder. (roaring) (metal rock music) Fig? – [Emily] Daddy? – Oh, oh, God. Oh, oh my God. Hey, kiddo. I, how? Did you just play that
fuckin’ sick drum solo? – That was me, I’m sick at the drums. (stammers) – We’ll take a couple of
steps back in the corner. – I go to hug his huge fucking quad. – Can I do like an insight check to see if that’s really her dad? Yeah, 19, one. Yeah, high. – Uh, there’s a lot of complex emotions going on right here.
– You got a 27. – I got a 27, yeah. – There’s like a lot of guilt, and there’s like a lot of love. – [Emily] Are you Gorthalax? – I am Gorthalax the Insatiable. Uh, you don’t have to call
me that, you can call me, I mean, I guess call me whatever you want. – How about, how do you feel about dad?
(Ally snickers) – Rivers of lame trace
down the massive face. The golem finishes dissolving. – What the fuck is happening? – Uh, kiddo, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. – It’s okay. I mean, you missed a lot of stuff, but I’ll tell you all about it. – I would love that. – [Emily] Yeah, totally. – Are these your friends? – Yeah, you could call them that. – Can you ask you dad if people, like, people sacrifice kids to him or something? – Are we gonna have to
kill him at some point? – That was beautiful. – Dad, my friends, like, think that you have people get sacrificed to you. – Oh, yeah, all the time. – But they were like pieces of shit that deserved to be sacrificed. – No, they were often good people. – Are they often, are they teenage girls? – What? No, no, not really. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I’m sorry. I, uh, I didn’t like ask
for people to do that. They just like get that
idea, and just do that. People have sacrificed people to me a lot. I didn’t, that wasn’t something– – Okay, but you’re not like fueled by the souls of innocents, right? – No, the opposite,
I’m fueled by the souls of very bad people. – Do you know why one of your followers, Johnny Spells, might have been– (laughs) – That guy fuckin’ sucks. – What? – He didn’t even fuck. – He definitely, he didn’t fuck. – Wait, did word get around? I made him do that! I said if you want spells from me, no fuck. – Oh, that’s very good.
– Wow. – He’s a fuckin’, that kid’s a boner. Oh, I’m sorry, should I
talk this way around you? – Boner’s not that bad. – We talk like that all the time. We’re always dunkin’ on each other. – Could I ask you a question? Why, uh, did I just meet you in the fire, or was that a different devil? – That wasn’t, I was trapped in a ruby, and someone had to play a sick
riff on the drums to get me– – You were trapped? That’s why you weren’t
around when I was a kid? – Fig, if I could have been there– – Oh. (chuckles) – Of course I would have been there. – Let’s go back and redo everything. We can redo everything.
– What? – Okay, hey, guys, how ’bout this? Crazy day. I heard some of what
was happening up there. That was fuckin’ nuts. Did you guys drag that
golem into the acid pit? – It was actually Johnny
Spells’ motorcycle. – You fuckin’ jacked that dude’s bike? This kid rules! I don’t care who you are, dude. – I also have this gross switch-comb that I think is maybe yours? – I made him put his soul in that! I thought that would be funny to do that. – Do you want it? Do
you want it, his soul? – I don’t really give a, uh, yeah, let me hang onto it. Uh, tell you what. Long fight, you guys just
fuckin’ kicked a bunch of ass. Uh, you guys wanna go– – To Basrar’s? – What’s that? Let’s go to
Basrar’s, get some ice cream. – I’m sorry, you can go to Basrar’s? – Who would stop me? – Okay, let’s go to Basrar’s. – I just have a quick question. You haven’t seen like a rat running around here, have you? Or like a goth kid or anything? – Yeah, there was a rat
here a bunch of times. – [Zac] Is it still here? – Like somebody’s pet rat. – Yeah, not like a–
– Not just a regular rat. – Uh, you see that he looks around, summons a weird little
flame elemental thing that shoots out and comes back with a little brown and
white rat a moment later. – Can I do an insight
check to see if it’s– – Yeah, I’ll do the same thing. – It is. (chuckles) It is.
– Yeah, okay. – It for sure is.
– 20. You see he goes, “Uh, this?” – Yeah, why do people want it? – I don’t know if they’re gonna be down with a rat in the ice cream shop, but we can give it a shot. – Yeah, we’ll come in with a full demon, but they might draw the line at a rat. (laughing) – This kid’s got some
fucking spine, I dig it. I’m not gonna lie. – I’m going through a
major change right now. – Hey, you know what? At your age, that’s
good, and it’s natural. Let’s go get some ice cream, huh? – Yeah, can we get that ruby
that you were trapped in? – Nah.
– Really? – I’ll pick it up later. – Okay, okay, cool. – And that’s all for this
week on Fantasy High! Tune in next week, thanks for watchin’.