If HELLO NEIGHBOR was Realistic


Ah! Isn’t this exciting? Moving into a new home… Taking out a ridiculous mortgage? I’m going to be in debt my whole life! Ye-e-es! Alpha 3? That’s a weird name for a town. Could’ve sworn the place I was moving into was called Alpha 2. Oh well! Ahhh! The grass is green, the birds are… kys and there she is a betch I’ll leave my car here and walk towards my house. Which i’m sure will not bite me in the ass later.. Alrighty, first order of business.. Oh. Hello neighbor! Uhh..uh-uh.. Uh-why? Uh…
[paper tearing] Hi yeah I’d like to report a robbery. Yeah yeah yeah, some weird dude come up an- WHAT THE HELL?! [Knocks on door]
Ugh, come on. I know you’re there, answer the door! Yeah, I can see you! I CAN SEE YOU!! Ah for God’s sake… Guess I’ll just walk back to my car and get my second phone and talk to myself for some reason. Aah! What is this? Why am I a mime now? What is going on?! I could actually die of starvation. All my food is in the car! I- I guess I could ask a neighbor for help or something! AHH!! WHAT THE HELL I- MMM! MMM! Mmm… [Gasp] I guess it was just a dream. AH! Maybe not! Huh? MM MUH MM MMM.. [Gasp] A dream within a dream maybe? Screw this! Hey! Give me back my notepad! Oh yeah and the phone too? Wait What time is it right now? 8:00 P.M. Oh shit! I’m going to miss Desperate Housewives! WOAH! [Gasp] What time is it? 7:55? GIVE MY NOTEPAD BACK OR YOU’LL BE SORRY, YOU’LL BE- Uh… [Silence with crickets chirping] Hello? [muffled screaming] [Gasp] 7:55. OK, so we can establish that time is looping. So I’m basically in the movie Groundhog Day, but unlike Bill Murray I can’t master the piano, or pick up girls. because the WALLS ARE THERE! A neighbor! Hey uh neighbor! Neighbor person! Yes, you. Howdy Neighbor! Look mate, I’m in some deep shit right now.. Ah that’s normal. You get used to the manure in these parts. That’s not what I mean, look I’m in Groundhog Day. What now? It’s a comedy. It is? Is it on Netflix? You know what? I think it was, but it might not be anymore. Maybe have a look. Look, whatever, who cares? Just walk towards me! You didn’t even buy me dinner first. [Weird Laughing] Ha ha, yeah good one. Just do it and I’ll tell you the best penguin joke of all time. Damn it! Penguin jokes, my weakness! Ow! My cranium! Has this invisible wall always been here? Not as far as I know, unless they did some construction here recently.. Yeah because I’m trapped in this little area right now! Sucks to be you! Ah haa! Can you just- [Gasp] Ok, that does it. Oh God! Do you want blue or black? AH! [Gasp] I am so done with this! Now listen neighbor! You better give me my notepad, or- [Gasp] Whoa whoa whoa whoa no whoa whoa! Before you grab me, before you grab me! BEFORE you grab me! Can’t we be civil about this? Did you steal my notepad and my phone? And you keep putting your hands on me. And I’ll be honest mate, I don’t know where you’ve been or what you do during the day. For all I know you’ve just finished having a wank, you what I mean? Now imagine being in my shoes, can you imagine that? Don’t imagine that, you might depress yourself. Look, just why you doing this? That’s a really strange looking door you- [Gasp] It’s got to be the door! Hello- [Gasp] Here we go again… AH! WOAH WOAH WOAH! Before you lay one more hand on me! Lemme ask you one simple question! Have you ever seen Groundhog Day? AH! [Gasp] Well that’s gotta be a yes. This thing just got bigger than I could have anticipated. Screw my phone with incredibly limited battery life. And screw that notepad I bought on a whim! The pressures of life. That door’s got to be the answer… TO END MY GROUNDHOG SEQUEL!!! HA HA! [Gasp] God damn It! I think it’s about time I formally introduced myself to the neighbors. Yeah, try and touch- mmff! [Gasp] [Cries] [whispering] Nice and easy, nice and easy. Just like the neighbor’s mom. Heh heh, I’m funny… [SNAP!] AAH!!! OOHH SHIT! [panting] Aaaggghh!!! On a scale of 1 to 10, this FUCKING HURTS! [gasps and screams] TV: Eat my asshole! Eat my asshole!
[screaming and groaning in a distance] Gotta… end… life… 🔪 AGHH! [Gasp] Oh my god, leg I missed you.. OK, Plan G! Glue. This will slow him down easily. There we go, that should do it. Let’s trap him, and slap his stupid face a few times. Now just to get his attention. MEOW! MEOW! He’s coming! Yes! Yes! Oh, hello neighbor! Lets see you get past this! Oh shit. [Gasp] You know what? I’m done! I’m done! I’m just gonna lie down here and sleep! [yawn] He thinks I care, I don’t care… [Gasp] You know what, I could just beat this guy up! But I won’t resort to violence. that never solved anything! Apart from most problems, honestly. So I think its time to write a formal letter of complaint. Dear Mr. Neighbor, It’s Gooney McGooni- That’s why I failed to see your reasoning of attacking me. And now we wait… [Gasp] A letter! [Gasp] THATS IT! I’VE GOT A- LAMP BUT I- I WILL USE IT! [thud] [gasp] Oh shit! [Gasp] Okay I really should have seen that one coming. -Neighbor watche- -record skip- Toy story?- Haha! Ha ha ha ha! Yeah, you like that huh? You like that? DOES THAT FEEL GOOD?! Uh no. OK I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m — You know, just do it, go on, just do it. [Gasp] Ugh… I think a montage is in order. ♪ [“Hello Neighbor Song” by DAGames] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪Hello! ♪ ♪ I’m your neighbor ♪ ♪ Goodbye♪ ♪ I’ll see you later ♪ ♪ This place was not for you! ♪ ♪ to look and see
Take it from me! ♪ ♪ Hello! ♪ ♪ You’re in danger ♪ ♪ Good riddance! ♪ ♪To your behavior♪ ♪ You may think I’m the devil ♪ ♪ And I wish your lives in peril ♪ ♪ Let me spell this out for you: ♪ ♪ I’m just your neighbor ♪ ♪ Now get OUT! ♪ ♪ Where are you now? ♪ ♪ Play hide and seek! ♪ ♪ But I’ll always find you out ♪ ♪ Now get OUT! ♪ ♪ You’re a nuisance to my plans ♪ ♪ Now get OOOOOOOOOUT! ♪ ♪ You’re a nuisance to my plans ♪ ♪ Get out of my HOUUUUUUSE! ♪♪ [gasp] Why is nothing working?! Its like he knows everything I’m about to do! Like some strange, sophisticated A.I. that can read my every move, and learn from the previous experiences! Wink-Wink! I’ve got to think outside the box here. [gasp] Thats it! Box! TASTE MY PAIN!! [Neighbor groaning] What the? [Neighbor groaning] Have I found the neighbor’s weakness? Is he allergic to cardboard!? Well, that didn’t last long did it? [Gasp] Come on! Think think think! There we go, thinking! His mind, psychologically speaking! I just bully the balls out of him, until he wants to kill himself! Hmm… What can I make fun of him for?.. He’s got a weird chin.. He looks like a pedophile version of Buzz Lightyear.. [Laughs] That’s pretty funny. Let’s write It down. “U are A BuzZ Lightyear PEEDAPHILE 💗 Your neighbor” “P.S. Go BAcK 2 ANDY’S Room U Prikk!!!” This is perfect. EGH! There we go! That’s it… Read the mean letter… What the? He’s actually crying.. Is he a snowflake? Is my banter really that strong? Now he’s corner crying! This is it, this is my chance! [“Get Out” By DAGames continues insturmental] I’m in! I’M FINALLY IN! What the- Is this?.. Andy’s Room from Toy Story? Hello neighbor! [gasp] STAY BACK! I don’t know karate, but I’ll call you names! I think you’ve already done enough of that. So are we gonna talk this out or what? Sure, here, have some tea and biscquits. Pretty good. So who are you? What is this? And why did you keep me molesting me every two minutes?! I apologize for the manhandling, especially since I had just cleaned my toilet.. with no gloves on.. Really glad you told me that… This is a replica of Andy’s Room from Toy Story. What do you have a Toy Story fetish or something? Pretty much. I used to have a roommate.. And “He” was my woody.. Don’t.. really like where this is going to be honest. But I had to get rid of my Woody. Why? He told me he wasn’t a fan of Toy Story 3 Can you believe the ignorance?! Had to get rid of him. So what about the invisible walls? And the fact that you kept grabbing me! And the whole Groundhog sequel stuff?! As for the walls, they’re just glass… Really thick glass. I wanted to keep you in here. As for the Groundhog Day… It was actually a day after every time. After I knocked you out, I would feed you so you wouldn’t die.. You’ve technically been here for like a month. Yeah, but I’ve got no beard, I woke up feeling refreshed every time. I used to shower you too and shave you. Why would you do that?! To give you the allusion that it’s Groundhog Day… You see, I’ve been secretly recording all of this. I wanna make a movie. Groundhog: The Sequel-Dequel. I wanted to get revenge on my “Ex” Woody… for disrespecting the Toy Story. And now you know my plan… Any questions? I just have um… a small… thing to say… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! What is wrong with you, you mean? A lot now! This will take years of therapy to get over! Well maybe you shouldn’t have disrespected me. What do you mean? You are my ex-Woody.. … You seem to have forgotten all about it.. But you love Toy Story as much as me. What? At no amount of therapy, And blocking out the memories can erase that fact: You… Are… Woody!! Ugh… No…No… NO! And now I have footage for my movie. You’re gonna wear this hat, and you’re gonna stay here for all eternity. GET AWAY FROM ME! Come here! Peek-A-Boo! – AHH! [panting] Gah! Not again! Hahaha! Agh! Boxes! Buzz Lightyear’s worst enemy! Well have some more of them! Ouch! Why can’t you accept your fate as my Woody?! You made me upset when you call me a pedophile! That’s what you called me last time you stormed out, I WAS UPSET!!! Yeah, well you know what pedophile Buzz Lightyear? I still don’t like Toy Story 3. UGHH! How dare yo-
[gunshot] Ugh! -Player Kicks Neighbor- Uh… Ugh… *Dead* [Sigh] I’m not gonna make it… I’m losing- losing too much blood… At least we solved.. what was behind that door… I guess this is it… Goodbye… Neighbor… Bleehhh… (gasp) Ugh, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING?! Hello! I’m your neighbor! Hey Guys, thanks for watching this week’s animation, if you liked It, make sure you check out If Smash Bros Was Realistic Episode 2. This one was animated by Kevin Lordy, and written as always by Dexter Manning. Make sure you leave a like on the video, Subscribe if you haven’t already, check out what’s the description. Thank you guys, peace…

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