Massive Insect Orgy Big Enough To Be Seen on Radar


>>Joe Bereta: Hello, welcome to SourceFed. I’m Joe Bereta. [MUSIC] Conditions in the Mississippi River in
the Wisconsin region were perfect earlier this week for the annual emergence of the
mayfly, a delicate dance dedicated to rising from the mighty Mississippi as one gigantic,
horny swarm, to take to the sky and make sweet sweet love, lay eggs and die. Tis the tragic
sexy life of the Mayfly. These little buggers, spend up to 4 years developing underwater,
munching on plant and algae stuffs, until they rocket through insect puberty, sprout
wings, and accept a mission to boogie and die. Adult mayflies live for one day, knock
boots and then their done No more existence. No awkward next morning. No is she gonna call me? Just sexy sexy death.
And oh, bonus, they have two penises and two gonopores. So it’s like sex squared. The massive flying
death orgy is a natural, yearly occurrence that is as expected as Spring’s first fragile
flower and the gentle cascade of winter’s first flake…except this is all sorts of
messy and gross… and huge! This year’s swarm was big enough to be considered a MAJOR EMERGENCE…and
their sexcapdes were so colossal and vast that they lit up weather radar screens like
it was Christmas. Sex Christmas. The swarm was thick and on July 20th, La Crosse, Wisconsin
was treated to quite the show courtesy of these insect-a-bitionists. The mayflies coated
walls, street lights, gas stations, atms, roadways, and everything as they quested for
mates and diddled. Male mayflies die right after ejaculation, best orgasm ever, or worst,
and their carcasses are everywhere. The ladies quickly find a water source, squirt out some
offspring, and die. In 2012 the body count was so high they enlisted the snowplow brigade
to clean things up.  This year, at least one car accident was attributed to slick conditions
created by the mayfly jelly smeared all over roadways. Now, although this may send the
heebie-jeebies crawling through your body spots, this momentary inconvenience to humans
is actually a really good thing. A great swarm is an indicator of healthy water conditions.
If mayfly counts are low, it’s a sign that pollution levels are high. Animals also love
when the Mayfly cult takes flight to drink the sex kool-aid. It is an all you can eat
buffet of biblical proportions. So, natures is cool ya’ll. It’s too bad, when I was a
kid, I came across this VHS tape that had a performance art piece of some guy doing
the life cycle of the Mayfly. I wish I could show you guys,
but I can’t. I don’t know why I even brought it up. So instead, why don’t you guys in the comments down below create a little Mayfly poem about the love cycle and the life cycle of the Mayfly. And I’ll read it and I will indulge in in. And it will be just for me. After that please Like the video, Subscribe to the channel and click the annotation for more SourceFed. I am Joe Bereta and before you go, I have a little bit of word play for you. What did the male Mayfly say to the female Mayfly after they consummated their relationship? Nothing. Because he was fucking dead. [MUSIC]

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98 thoughts on “Massive Insect Orgy Big Enough To Be Seen on Radar

  1. I'm from La Crosse and this is not the worst hatch I have ever seen. I remember one year the dead mayflys were 2 feet thick under all the street lights. the cass street bridge was in-passable and the smell is horrible.

  2. I live in La Crosse, Wisconsin and this shit is awful. I have to literally shovel my car. It's disgusting.

  3. I have to be honest Joe, when you started that ending, I, a straight male, got a huge erection. Also, love the pants bro.

  4. Reminds me of cicada's in Staten Island, they come out every 17 years for at least a week theyre huge and disgusting and mate all the time. My friend would attempt to throw the dead ones at me and that was beyond gross

  5. A mayfly life begins so bright
    It's tiny form bursting forth with might
    Through the years it makes it's way
    For in the water it will not stay
    Soon approaches it's life above
    As it prepares to find a love

    Today is the day! The day to fly!
    To fly above to the bright blue sky…

    FUCK FUCK ORGY FUCK ORGASM DIE!!!

    So is the life of a mayfly

  6. Dude. wtf.
    I don't know how to feel about that ending. At first, I thought it was hilarious but by the end I was just in awe.
    You're amazing joe.

  7. the mayfly poem:
    born, fuck, die.
    born, fuck, die.
    born, fuck, die.
    who's my mommy
    born, fuck, die.
    born, fuck, die.
    born, fuck, die.
    who's my daddy
    born, fuck, die.
    born, fuck, die.
    born, fuck, die.
    the end

  8. That ending… Wow. The first time i've ever understood an interpretive dance. You should do more man dancing, Joe. Do the warehouse scene from Footloose 1984!

  9. JOE! Oh my god! That performance art at the end! That was amazing! Genuinely! You were very smooth, strong and balanced on your feet! I think I'm in love with you…

  10. The mayflies,
    They flew from Wisconsin,
    And couldn't stop themselves from bonking,
    They flew to the town,
    And f**ked all around,
    And a car crashed, as the flies couldn't hear it's horn honking.

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