SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE ™: SONIC THE HEDGEHOG


( theme music playing )( electronic music playing )♪ SCIENCE DEFINES ♪♪ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ♪♪ RUNS SIX FEET PER SECOND
BUT IS NEARLY BLIND ♪
♪ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ♪♪ HEDGEHOGS
GET CANCER AND RABIES ♪
♪ HEDGEHOGS
EAT THEIR OWN BABIES ♪
♪ HEDGEHOGS
DEFECATE WHILE THEY RUN FAST ♪
♪ WHEN HEDGEHOGS FIND POOP ♪♪ THEY PUT IT
IN THEIR MOUTHS ♪
♪ MIX IT WITH SALIVA
TILL IT’S A FOAM ♪
♪ THEN RUB IT
ON THEMSELVES ♪
♪ SCIENCE DOESN’T KNOW
WHY THEY DO THIS ♪
♪ WHY WOULD ♪♪ A HEDGEHOG DO THIS? ♪♪ THEY EAT SHIT ♪♪ AND THEN RUB IT
ON THEIR BACKS ♪
♪ SONIC’S GOT
A LOT OF PALS ♪
♪ CATS, BATS, RABBITS… ♪FROGS
( croaks )
♪ HIS BEST FRIEND ♪♪ IS TAILS THE FOX ♪♪ BUT FOXES EAT HEDGEHOGS ♪♪ KNUCKLES IS AN ECHIDNA ♪ ♪ THEY CAN’T FLY ♪♪ DON’T HAVE
A PUNCHING CLAW ♪
♪ BUT THEY’RE KNOWN
FOR HAVING A FOUR-HEADED DICK ♪
♪ IT’S THE ONLY ONE LIKE IT ♪♪ SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE. ♪( music playing )

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