Stephen Colbert and Viggo Mortensen: Save The Bees


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LISTEN. IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW, AND YOU WATCH ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU KNOW WE LIKE TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN ON THE SHOW TELL JOKES, HA-HA-HA. BUT ALSO, WE HAVE DEEP CONCERNS ABOUT THE FUTURE, AND OCCASIONALLY I LIKE TO USE MY MASSIVE CELEBRITY TO RAISE AWARENESS BY RECORDING A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. AND I RECENTLY LEARNED ABOUT THE PLIGHT OF ONE SPECIES THAT DEEPLY TROUBLED ME. AND SO, RIGHT NOW, I’M GOING TO RECORD A P.S.A., AND JOINING ME IS ANOTHER FAMOUS PERSON WHO TRULY CARES. HELLO. WE ARE STEWARDS OF THE EARTH. AND EVERY LIVING THING IS PRECIOUS. I’M STEPHEN COLBERT.>>AND I’M VIGGO MORTENSEN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND WE’RE ASKING YOU TO PLEASE HELP US–>>(Both): –SAVE THE BEES.>>Stephen: NO OTHER SINGLE ANIMAL SPECIES PLAYS A MORE INTEGRAL ROLE IN OUR FOOD CHAIN.>>AND OVER THE LAST DECADE, THE GLOBAL BEE POPULATION HAS PLUMMETED OVER 30%.>>Stephen: WHICH MEANS LESS STINGING HERE BUT MORE STINGING HERE. ( LAUGHTER )>>SO, WON’T YOU PLEASE DO YOUR PRART R PART AND SAVE THE BEES?>>Stephen: THANKS SO MUCH. THANKS SO MUCH. THANKS, MAN. THANKS FOR STEPPING UP AND DOING THE RIGHT THING. THAT REALLY FELT GREAT.>>IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO GIVE BACK.>>Stephen: IT SURE DOES. I KNOW WE HAVE TO DO THE INTERVIEW IN A SECOND, BUT I WAS THINKING AS LONG AS I GOT YOU HERE, YOU’RE STANDING HERE, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST RECORD RECORD NEXT YEAR’S P.S.A.s, TOO?>>SURE, WHY DON’T WE JUST RECORD THE NEXT DECADE OR SOMETHING.>>Stephen: THAT WOULD BE GREAT. WHY DON’T WE RECORD ALL THE P.S.A.s WE WERE GOING TO RECORD FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS BUT DO THEM NOW.>>YOU’RE ON.>>Stephen: JIMMY.>>LAST YEAR, WE ASKED YOU TO SAVE THE BEES, AND IT WORKED.>>Stephen: THANKS TO YOUR HELP, SCIENTISTS SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF COLONY COLLAPSE DISORDER, AND BEE POPULATIONS ARE ON THE REBOUND. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?>>MORE YUMMY HONEY IN MY TUMMY. ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: THAT’S RIGHT. BUT SOMETIMES SAVING BEES ISN’T ENOUGH.>>THE BEES DESERVE A BETTER TOMORROW. AND THAT’S WHY WE’RE ASKING YOU TO HELP–>>(Both): –EDUCATE THE BEES.>>THE BEES ARE THRIVING, AND THEY WANT TO LEARN.>>Stephen: THEY’RE SO MUCH SMARTER THAN WE THOUGHT AND ARE QUITE INTERESTED IN SUBJECTS LIKE MILITARY HISTORY AND ENGINEERING. ( LAUGHTER )>>SO, WON’T YOU PLEASE DO YOUR PART AND–>>(Both): –EDUCATE THE BEES? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>WE ASKED YOU TO SAVE THE BEES.>>Stephen: WE ASKED YOU TO TEACH THE BEES.>>AND YOU DID MORE THAN WE COULD EVER IMAGINE.>>Stephen: NOW THERE ARE TOO MANY BEES. ( LAUGHTER )>>AND THEY ARE ALARMINGLY SMART.>>Stephen: THEY KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT US.>>SO, PLEASE, DON’T BUMBLE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO STOP–>>(Both): –STOP HELPING THE BEES. ( LAUGHTER )>>AS YOU KNOW, HUMANITY IS AT WAR AGAINST THE BEES.>>Stephen: THE TIME FOR TALKING IS OVER.>>WE’VE LOST EVERY BATTLE AND WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF FOOD. BUT WE STILL HAVE HOPE.>>Stephen: THE BEES MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF WEAKNESS, EVEN IF THEY SEEM LIKE TINY INDESTRUCTIBLE GODS.>>WHICH IS WHY WE NEED YOU TO–>>(Both): –JOIN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE BEES.>>Stephen: HEAD TO A RECRUITING STATION BEFORE NIGHTFALL.>>THEY OWN THE NIGHT.>>Stephen: BUT IF YOU ACT NOW, YOU CAN BE THE “BUZZERBEATER.” TOGETHER, WE CAN ALL–>>(Both): –DEFEAT THE BEES. HE WERE HE WERE>>Stephen: HI, I’M STEPHEN COLBERT.>>AND I’M VIGGO MORTENSEN.>>Stephen: DID YOU KNOW EVERY DAY MORE AND MORE DOLPHINS SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF OUR FISHERMEN?>>IN ORDER TO PROTECT THESE NOBLE CREATURES, WE MUST ACT WITH PORPOISE. ( LAUGHTER )>>Stephen: WON’T YOU PLEASE HELP US TO–>>(Both): –SAVE THE DOLPHINS?>>DOLPHINS ARE BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT CREATURES.>>Stephen: AND THEY WOULD MAKE A POWERFUL ALLY IN OUR WAR AGAINST THE BEES.>>THEY CAN JUMP OUT OF THE WATER AND SWAT THE BEES WITH THEIR TAILS.>>Stephen: AND MAYBE THEY COULD USE THEIR SOANS TO CONFUSE THE BEES?>>SONAR.>>Stephen: THEY HAVE SONAR. THE BEES HAVE BEGUN BUILDING SUBMARINES.>>Stephen: WHY DID WE TEACH THEM ENGINEERING?>>CALM THE HELL DOWN, STEPHEN!>>Stephen: I’M SORRY, I’M SCARED.>>I AM, TOO. SO, ACT NOW TO–>>(Both): –SAVE THE DOLPHINS IN ORDER TO RECRUIT THEM IN OUR WAR TO DESTROY THE BEES. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: THE WAR WITH THE BEES IS FINALLY OVER.>>BUT HUMANITY STILL HAS BIG CHALLENGES AHEAD. WE MUST REBUILD OUR CITIES AND RESEED THE EARTH. BUT FIRST, WE MUST BUILD MONUMENTS TO OUR MERCIFUL BEE OVERLORDS.>>PLEASE JOIN THE HIVE AND–>>(Both): –SERVE THE BEES.>>THEY LET US LIVE, AND DESERVE OUR OBEDIENCE.>>Stephen: UNLIKE THOSE TREACHEROUS DOLPHINS. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TRIED TO LURE US INTO AN UNJUST WAR AGAINST THE BEES! THIS GUY! GET OVER HERE!>>IT WAS THEM! IT WAS THEM, MY QUEEN. WE WOULD NEVER DISOBEY YOU.>>DOWN!>>SLAVE! DOWN!>>Stephen: GET DOWN THERE! I’M DRONE 27534.>>AND I’M VIGGO MORTENSEN, ASKING YOU TO–>>(Both): –PLEASE CONTINUE TO SUBMIT TO THE BEES.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Post navigation

2 thoughts on “Stephen Colbert and Viggo Mortensen: Save The Bees

  1. 3:32 Stephen's lips are twitching as he's trying not to laugh 😂 (and that's why I prefer him without the beard!)
    And on a random note, I like Viggo Mortensen because he's a Montreal Canadiens fan 😁

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *